Given that this has the potential to be misinterpreted of me feeling poorly about the men on my squad, I want to first address something. There are 6 single men (Wesley, Zach, Jake, Dillon, Justin, and Josh) as well as 3 married men (Chris, Derek, and Sam). That’s 9 out of 43. They are sorely outnumbered but that did not stop them from giving us an incredible dinner during our all squad month. I would consider each of these men to be my brothers and they have treated me that way. They have treated all of the women on the squad with respect and it has been a blessing. I’m so glad that the World Race has a “manistry” month where all the men come together to serve as one team. They get a whole month off from being outnumbered by women. What a great idea! This month in Thailand has been refreshing for them, I have no doubt.
Now you know that this blog is not going to be a man-bashing of any sort, we’re on the same page.
I want to talk about what it’s like to be on a team of all women. When asked at Training Camp whether I would want to be on a co-ed team or with all women, I said either. The thought of seeing men serving the Lord was appealing because it’s an encouragement but the staff knew me better. I needed to be on a team of all women and now I understand why, which I’ll explain shortly.
Also, during Training Camp, we were separated into genders where the women were broken into small teams. Our task was to “escape a crashed airplane as a team and arrive at an unknown destination.” Sounds easy enough but for one, not so minor, technicality: we each had ailments. On my team, one had to hop due to a leg injury, I was blind, another was unconscious and had to be carried. It was interesting. Afterwards, we were given exercises to complete such as army crawling, push-ups, you name it. The entire point was to teach us to rely on our sisters in Christ, with the goal of forming a bond similar to that of Ruth and Naomi.
It’s been sad to hear the typical reactions of others when they learn that I’ve been on a team with all women for 7 straight months, seeing each other 24/7. Usually it’s negative with the misconception that getting a bunch of women together like that always turns nasty. Not the case.
Being on a team with all women has opened my eyes to beautiful relationships. It has helped many of us heal from past hurts dealt by the hand of some of our closest girlfriends. Let’s face it ladies, we’ve all been hurt but more importantly, we’ve also done the hurting. None are innocent. That’s why this experience has been so refreshing.
Living with all women provides some liberties that having brothers in Christ around would not. For example, the longer you’re on a team, the quicker clothing gets removed when returning from ministry. Wearing a sarong in the hot countries is perfectly normal as is walking around in bra and underwear. You went your entire off day without putting a bra on? Eh, who cares??? Some may say that’s off or uncomfortable, I say it’s freeing because it means everyone feels comfortable enough with their teammates that they do not feel ashamed of their bodies.
An additional perk, there are some, OK many, things that come up in conversation that just simply would not happen if men were around. Bathroom problems, husbands, and body types are just a few examples. These exchanges lead to all manner of hilarity with the occasional lines crossed. We’re women. It happens.
I’ve come to realize a strong truth in that women spend more time putting themselves together for other women, not men. I’m certain many would deny it but comparison is seeded in looking at our fellow women rather than wondering what men think. Seriously, what guy notices if you’ve forgotten to pluck your eyebrows recently or if you look put together enough? Being on a team of all women is redemptive in that way because we love each other through it all, even the ugly both physically and emotionally.
I’ve discussed this with humor but in all seriousness, living with women in this intense of a community for 7 months has expanded my views on what friendships with sisters in Christ look like. We will fight for each other, even if that means fighting you when you’re putting yourself down. Our team has instated a rule that if a negative comment about oneself is uttered, that individual must say three nice things about themselves. We’ve been ruthless in enforcement because it heads revealed that many of us do not love ourselves enough. We could each rattle off at least 20 awesome things about our teammates while some struggle to come up with just three nice things for themselves. It’s sad but encouraging because we fight for each other. We are not content with letting our sisters live with feelings of insecurity.
That’s what sisterhood in Christ should look like and does if everyone is devoted to it. It looks like calling out the good and the bad. It looks like loving fiercely, especially when that teammate is feeling down. It looks like shouldering the burdens of others. It looks like praying bold prayers for one another. It looks like unrelenting, unconditional love.
Ruth, in particular had it right. “My God will be your God and I will go wherever you go”.
While it may be unrealistic to pack up my belongings every time one of my friends moves, a form of that kind of loyalty is what I’m after for my friendships.
This is why I want to be on a team of all women. This is why I’ve grown so much.
