I’m in one of those seasons that we call a transition. This seems to have been the case in my life since May 2014 when I went to my own training camp. Being someone who likes some consistency, knowing what to expect, and to feel settled, this has been a challenge, but it’s also produced some of the best fruit in my life. Nothing like walking into dependence when control is relinquished!
Over the past few months, a number of people have given me the phrase “Be Still.”
Be Still. Be Still. Be Still.
Whenever someone has given me that phrase, it has felt like a gentle whisper. With Ambassador leader training, a month in Swaziland, 10 days of training camp, a wedding, and coming back to Michigan for a few weeks all since the end of June, there have been times, even in the midst of great joy, that things have felt chaotic. Since I’ve heard “Be Still” in other seasons I interpreted it the same way I usually do: be stationary for the Lord to speak.
It took me until a few days ago to finally understand the meaning for this season. My mind has felt like it’s been on overdrive. I’ve found it to be incredibly difficult to sit still and allow my mind to be clear enough to spend the kind of quality time with Him that I crave. Sometimes this inability to be still can come from a place of wanting to avoid pain, processing, or conviction. Not so this time. I woke up, tried to quiet my mind, and felt the Lord tell me to go.
He said, “Go and move.”
Admittedly, I was a little confused because movement and being still do not seem to line up. I donned my running gear and set out on a jog. On top of finding some beautiful paths to run through, I discovered something far more valuable. The more I moved, the more my mind quieted for me to hear the Lord’s voice more clearly. My conclusion?
He was telling me to move so that my mind would actually be still.
It made so much sense. Exercise is how I get my release. I come back a changed person after even 20 minutes of running. Go figure that my physical need to move would be connected to my spiritual need for stillness.
Abide. Move. Let your mind be still.
I’m preparing to leave the country with 51 amazing young women as a squad leader for 9 months. I’ll be moving around every couple of weeks to different teams on the field. The transitions will not be stopping any time soon, but I am excitedly anticipating this upcoming season. I’ve started to develop the mantra, “Why do one transition when you can do 17?” because that’s how life has been recently. While I would prefer to have more stability, it keeps me dependent on the Lord. With all of those transitions, the to-do lists pile up so easily that the Lord needed to remind me to get myself into a place where I could be still.
Sometimes being still looks like moving.
