I feel like I’m in the thick of a bittersweet time in life right now. I’ve been in CGA since September, and I graduate at the beginning of May.
A season is ending.
It definitely feels like the time for CGA to be finishing. I’ve learned a lot and have honestly grown more during my time as an apprentice than I did on my entire World Race. The Race was more about sifting through the things that I’d been carrying around for so long. CGA has been about identity discovery.
I’ve found that when life begins to transition, things feel more vibrant, deeper, and richer. Moments and time spent with people that are important seem to carry more weight because there is a finite amount now. The freedom of casual hang-outs gets lost and is replaced with a freedom to be more intentional, to say what needs to be said, and to express how much people have impacted your life. It’s beautiful and hard all at once.
One of my favorite quotes has a line in it that says:
“Love hard and often and without reservation.”
The community I’ve been in since July 2014 has been incredibly transient. The nature of working with a missions organization is that people come and go regularly. It’s natural and part of the life-style. That means that people have exciting changes happening in life, but it also means that it can be challenging to want to deeply invest into a person who is going to leave in three months. That’s where the quote begins to matter.
In the midst of the bittersweet taste of transition, I’ve started to reflect on how well I have loved during CGA. I can say that I have not been perfect. There were times when I withheld love, but then there were times when I decided that having a deep friendship was worth it, even if it meant there was only a guarantee of three months in the same place. All in all, I’m happy with how I’ve loved and allowed myself to be loved with my friendships here and those that still exist outside of Georgia.
Thanks, CGA, for teaching me that loving hard is scary, but also, incredibly rewarding! Love hard and often and without reservation!
